


The Truest Happiness

by SixxWrites



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 09:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1600478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SixxWrites/pseuds/SixxWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elsa struggles with the difficulties of being a new mother. She feels as though she doesn't fit in to her new, happy, warm family setting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truest Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Mother's Day!
> 
> So I know I haven't posted anything in a while and I'm sure you'd rather get an update on one of my chapter stories (more specifically Please), but I wanted to write something with one of my best friends and we just came up with this. So yeah. Enjoy some angsty Elsa mommihood.
> 
> Don't forget to love your moms today and if you don't have a good relationship with your mom, love on your mother figure!

Being the queen of a nation that once wanted to behead and exile you was tough, but being the mother of a newborn child and being queen was worse. Queen Elsa had no experience with raising another life, much less her own. The usual for a royal family was to allow the servants and maids to raise the young, but that tradition was broken with Elsa’s own parents and she was determined to keep it that way. With only herself to watch over the child because of her husband’s recent royal business affairs,  Elsa was had become a sleepless wreck. The absence of Ana and Kristoff did not help the queen.  They were honeymooning in Corona with Rapunzel and Flynn.

There Elsa stood, gazing out the window at the world outside. A sleeping baby girl was peacefully bundled in her arms. She looked down at the child and felt a pang of guilt and a sense of uselessness.   She missed her husband, and without him, she felt as though there was no way their child could possibly survive until he was home. His last comforting words to her were, “Don’t worry, Elsa. You’ll be fine.”

The child scurried slightly amongst her arms, and soon she awoke with watery eyes, a flood was coming. Elsa panicked. “Shhh,” she hushed. “Shhhh, my lovely. Please don’t cry. Oh no,” she groaned, pulling the child up and trying her best to comfort her.The child only cried louder, her yells echoed through the castle halls. Elsa cradled the baby once more but it had no effect. A knock came and the door opened slightly.

An elderly servant poked her head through the door. “Your highness do you need some assistance?” She asked looking at the Queen with sympathy.  

Elsa hesitated. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to be confident enough to say that she was all right and could care for her baby herself, but the young queen did not possess such confidence. With a resigned sigh, Elsa nodded. “Some assistance would be nice. Thank you.”

The servant took Luvina and hushed her quickly. Elsa couldn’t help but feel jealous of how easy it was for the other woman.

“I think I’d like to go for a walk, the weather is nice.” Elsa declared as she exited the room.

“Would your highness like some company?” The servant asked still cradling the baby.

“No…no I’d rather be alone,” she replied, hugging herself against the breeze from the window. The servant nodded and averted her attention back on Luvina.

***

It was a peaceful, autumn evening. The breeze lightly ghosted across Elsa’s pale face and the trees whispered tales of their fallen leaves. Elsa walked along the worn down trail, her attention snapped to the leaves that gently fell in the breeze, rocking back and forth like a ship at sea. This was her mind at the moment; a wave pool of different emotions and feelings. She had no idea whether she was going to sink or swim, and the constant battle was endless. She hugged herself against the blowing wind, feeling a chill of cold winter air. The cold was comforting and that brought upon a small, sad smile. Babies were warm bundles of joy, yet all her life, all she knew was the spreading cold of her distant heart. She thought of her husband and his joyful smile that always managed to brighten anyone’s day. He possessed a cheerful, loving and warm aura that won over Elsa’s heart and the people of Arendalle. He was like Luvina and Luvina was like him. However, Elsa was an outcast; a stranger amongst their family. What was her purpose? Why was she blessed with such a loving, warm family when she, herself, was nothing more than a cold monster? Elsa felt her eyes water. Concel don't feel.

Abruptly, her tears vanished when she heard a small voice say, “Wow! Queen Elsa!” She turned on her heel and noticed a little boy with a toothless grin. He wore a loose shirt with small holes on the sleeves and blue worn out trousers. He quickly took off his hat and bowed.

Elsa was shocked to see such a young boy out so late. She nodded and cleared her throat. “Yes. Hello, there.” She put on one of famous, queenly smiles. The little boy was absolutely starstruck. He just stood there, unbelieving his eyes. “May I ask your name?”

“Oh of course, your majesty! My name is Jasper.”

She gave a small nod and asked, “Well, Jasper, are you aware of the time? Boys your age shouldn’t be out so late.”

Despite how late it was, Jasper was a hyper ball of energy. He pulled a map out of his trousers and showed it to the queen. “My father and I are loggers! We have to work early in the morning, so usually I stay up during the night and sleep during the day. Right now, father sent me on a mission to find here!” He pointed to a forest on the map. “But I got lost.” I know how that feels.

“I know exactly where that is. I’ll take you,” she offered. He jumped for joy and took her hand. “What about your mother? Does she log, too, or is she at home?”

His smile disappeared and he looked down. “Oh, no, ma’am. My mother was really sick and passed away last year.”

Oh. She was silent for a moment. Her own pain of losing her parents surfaced for a moment. It was unbearable. She had to change the subject. “Is your father waiting for you in the forest?”

His smiling face was back and that calmed her down. “Yes he is!”  Elsa smiled, “May I see your map?” Jasper nodded and handed her the map. She studied it momentarily and looked up at the stars. She scanned the sky for a large star surrounded with three yellow stars. Elsa smiled, spotting the star just above a campfire’s smoke. “Look up there Jasper, do you see those four stars? The one white one surrounded with the three yellow ones?” Elsa stated, pointing up. Jasper looked up and nodded his head swiftly. “Well, you're father sketched these four arrows indicating which direction to go. Those four stars indicate North and, if I’m not mistaken, there’s smoke coming from that direction. Your father should be there.”  

The little boy was so happy. “Thank you so much, Queen Elsa!” He hugged her legs. “You’re the best!”

That made Elsa smile, but only slightly. She wouldn’t have known any of that if it weren’t for her husband. She patted his head. “Run along now and be careful. There are wolves in this area.”

With a small nod, he let her go and ran on forward. She watched him, but he stopped and turned back around to look at her. “Queen Elsa!” he called. “You should smile more! Everyone has a pretty smile! Smiles spread joy and make everyone happy!” Jasper turned and ran swiftly towards the stars. He stopped once more and smiled back at the Queen. He waved a final goodbye before disappearing out of sight.

***

After her long, tiring journey around the forest, Elsa was relieved when she looked up to find her home sitting there with open gates and frozen fountains. It must have slipped her mind to unfreeze them again. With a slight twist of her wrist, she unfroze the fountains and they began streaming water once more. A guard spotted her and was about ready to announce the queen’s return, but Elsa motioned for him to remain silent. She entered the castle unnoticed and headed up Luvina’s bedroom.

With love in her eyes, Elsa gazed upon her child. Her child. In that moment, she realized that Luvina was her child. She made this sweet baby girl with the help of her husband. Together, they brought a life into this world. Together, they created the one thing she would always love the most; her sweet, little baby girl. That thought in itself was enough to put her worrying mind at ease. She watched her peacefully sleeping girl for a moment, content with quiet. It was moments like these that made her push herself to be all that she could for this child.

Moments later, a servant appeared at the door, knocking softly. “Queen Elsa, the ships have returned and the king is on his way in now.”

She could barely contain her excitement. She turned around swiftly, thoughts of fixing herself up and running up to greet him filling her head. She was so occupied with such thoughts that she didn’t even notice how off balance she was when she turned. The next thing she knew, she was on the ground and the baby was sobbing. Elsa quickly stood up, she turned swiftly and reached for Luvina. She cradled her baby gently.

“Your majesty would you like some help?” the servant asked.

Elsa formed a small smile, rocking Luvina with care. The baby began to settle down, her cry soon ceasing. With her small fragile hands, she reached up. Elsa was unsure on what to do. She looked at the servant who smiled at the queen's success. She grabbed for Elsa’s finger. Elsa, careful not to drop her child, hovered a finger above Luvina. The baby reached for it,  fascinated. Luvina formed a smile and a giggle escaped her toothless mouth. Elsa felt a pang of joy. Her baby, her child, her Luvina was not crying in her arms. No, she was smiling and laughing. She was happy. Elsa felt tears of joy but abruptly stopped them with a giggle. She was happy. She leaned down and kissed Luvina on the forehead.

Luvina started hiccuping and Elsa’s fears returned. She rocked the baby gently in her arms and soon enough she was a peaceful ball of joy again. Luvina reached up, tugging on Elsa’s hair. “Mama,” she giggled.

Elsa blinked in disbelief. “What? Yes, that’s right!” She was so excited to hear her utter those syllables. She finally felt like a true mother now.


End file.
